Posted by: Diana Leagh Matthews | March 19, 2012

This Too Will Pass

Two weeks ago I would have celebrated my anniversary. I wish I could tell you it was a good relationship, but from the beginning it was full of nothing but lies, manipulation and abuse. Unfortunately I refused to see or hear the warning signs, even when loved ones tried to help me.

This Too Shall Pass

It took me three years to gain the strength and courage to walk away. It wasn’t easy and went against everything I believed. After all, I was raised to believe that marriage is for life. I knew I was a mess and could not live that way. For a long time I wanted to do things my way and held on very tightly, trying everything to make the relationship work. The harder I tried the more miserable I became.

Things finally came to a head one day and I walked away from the relationship. It was the hardest thing I ever did, even though I knew it was the best thing for my own sanity. It took me two and a half years of counseling before I could begin to look to the future.

When we’re hurting it feels as if we can never be happy again or look to the next chapter to come. It’s so easy to wallow in pity and isolate ourselves from others. In time, it will come.

If you or someone you know is hurting, some of the things you can do:
1. Be patient—it takes time
2. Take baby steps—don’t try to do too much at once or you’ll be overwhelmed
3. Get involved with a support group {ex. Divorce Care– if it’s a divorce}
4. Find a good Christian counselor
5. Be cautious—you’re hurting and want to share it with everyone you know. Later on you may regret the things you told people, so just be cautious what you tell people. Find one or two select friends you know you can trust and that are a reliable confidant.
6. Talk about your feelings—it’s not healthy to keep it bottled up {just be cautious as I stated above}
7. Stay active—exercise does help you not only physically, but also your mind
8. Do something for others—volunteer or help others in need; even if it’s for a few hours each month the thing you’ll find is it will make you feel better to do for others
9. Study God’s word—you’ll be amazed the answers you find in there
10. Most importantly, don’t forget to talk to God—he wants to be your best friend, he’ll listen regardless of the hour, he’ll give you the best advice and he knows better than anyone the journey you’ve been on.

For Everything There Is A Season

God tells us that there is a time for everything. We don’t always understand why things happen to us, but God has a reason even when we don’t understand. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 {NIV} tells us: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

Abraham Lincoln said in a speech that an Eastern monarch came up with the well known phrase “And this, too shall pass away.” This phrase is well known and used today.

Looking back on my journey, I’m so thankful I left. I’ve seen ways God has provided, even when the situation seemed hopeless and I felt helpless. This year was a big mile stone for me. While I allowed myself to be reminded of the date, it was the first year I did not allow myself to dwell on it. I acknowledged it and then moved on to the next task at hand. It took me fifteen years after my first marriage ended to do this on the date of our anniversary.

So regardless of what you’re facing, it too will pass and there is hope. What are you facing right now?

Let Go For Something Better

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Responses

  1. Thank you Leigh for taking time to share about the victory that does finally come as we continue to walk with the Lord. He leads from the pit to the mountaintop…when we finally let go. Whatever losses we face in this life, God is there waiting for us to lean on Him to take the next step. Many of us have been rebels and Jesus stands ready to redeem. What a Redeemer
    Is ours!

    • Thank you for commenting, Glenda. You summed it up beautifully. Isn’t it wonderful that we don’t have do anything alone, but can rely on God to help us get through it?

  2. Beautiful post, Leagh! Thank you for your transparency and your wisdom. Others will benefit from your experience. God never wastes any scars…

    • Thank you for your encouragement, Vonda. That’s my hope that I can help others through my experiences. I love what you said, “God never wastes any scars.”


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